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從過去覺醒-I：以身心整合的方式建構家庭關係新契機
線上雙語課程

Awakening from the Past I ~ Bilingual Online Program

| 導師：Graemme Brown + Wen-Shwu Lee 李文淑
| 時間：4/10, 11, 17, 18, 2021
| 學員：112人

學員回饋 Participant Feedbacks

  • 文淑老師您好，我先生去年九月因肝硬化驟逝，去年及至今透過網路聽您和佩霞老師（幾年前曾回台灣去上過她的“愛的運轉“研習營）的許多YouTube專題演講，幫助我走過非常低潮的時期，給了我許多力量。真的很感謝您在線上開這個課程，讓無法回台參加您課程的人，能在線上上您和葛萊恩老師的課而受益。昨天聽您跟葛萊恩老師影音帶領的空椅練習，對我的幫助很大。讓我能夠透過這個練習表達對摯愛已逝的先生說出許多來不及對他說的話，幫助我抒發深藏在內心的愧疚，哀傷及感謝。
  • 親愛的文淑老師，剛聽完你們今天的影音回放，特別是在結束時您播放“You Are Not Alone“這首歌時，特別提到這首歌是要獻給來自世界各地的學員時，特別感到溫馨及感動。身在異鄉，此時全球疫情嚴重，無法回台灣探親及上成長課程。慶幸此時有機會能跟你們一起“隔空“學習。在瑞士獨自走在身心靈成長這一條路上有時覺得很孤單。但這一年多在YouTube 網路上聽您和佩霞老師演講，非常喜歡你們的樂觀，樂於助人，平易近人，親切及甜美的笑容，跟你們在網路上連結，學習成長，受益良多。很高興有你們影音的陪伴，知道“自己並不孤單“。由衷心地，感謝您及所有人付出，促成這一次課程的因緣。感恩！祝平安喜樂！
  • 謝謝老師的邀請我再次的參加海文的課程，這兩次的感覺非常不同，上次很大的部分我都在掙扎怎麼參與分享，我沒有跟大陸學員分享的經驗有非常陌生的感覺，還有自己的個性問題，上次我的確也受到同組學員熱情地要請我打開視頻（有壓力）。為了想再度的參加課程，我的確也仔細的考慮到我自己的限制及舒服的程度。我想看看這次會如何開展。這次非常不同，上課速度這次慢下來，很快心就靜了。課間自己有不少的洞見，蠻驚喜的。這兩天是一個收穫豐富的課程，是個起頭並且需要不斷操練的歷程。
  • 老師這次的課收穫滿滿，有想要跟你請教及分享驚奇的。上課前還有一點時間，我想再練習投射 ，等課程結束後再多聊。 謝謝你的安排讓我遇到這位對我頗多啓迪的老師。謝謝妳！昨天我收到加拿大海文寄來上次兩天上課的錄影，非常興奮。昨天也再看過一次，很有收穫。謝謝加拿大海文，也謝謝你們中國團隊的努力，謝謝妳的策劃與領導。

可能大多數人都有這個經驗：對家人所做的事或所說的話，我們會做出強烈又盲目的本能反應。事後又常常對自己的行為後悔不已，要不就是更堅持己見，怪罪別人！（心想如果他們把事情做對，一切不就沒事了！）

又或我明明看到某位家人對別人總有著美好的特質，可是這個人就偏偏對我如此冷漠，貶抑，甚或公開仇視我，我不明白為什麼他們就不能對我好一點？

這些強烈的本能反應好像不知從何而來，而這些反應又發生如此之快，如此激烈，似乎無法掌控！有點像是我們情緒被劫機了，我們的理智和良知在那些時候怎麼都不能正常運作呢！

這種現象的發生有一點像我們走神了或是進入了夢境。

其實我們是的！

這種「走神狀態」跟我們內在深層的渴望是息息相關的，我們的內心都渴望著愛、支持、養份、仁慈，和連結。這些渴望當然在不同文化中有著不同的表達方式，然而人類的渴求卻是超越文化藩籬並且是共通的。我們也在身體上經驗著這些渴求：在感受覺知上我們都渴望依附與連結，無論在任何年紀這些需求都是非常重要的。

其相關的程度會造成：如果童年時期我們無法在原生家庭去經驗並滿足這些人類共通的渴求時，成年後我們就會從別處尋找。表面上這個說法也許沒什麼特殊：「我們是由我們的早年生活經驗所刻畫而成。」然而真正的議題是，當我們「無意識」地去尋求別人來滿足這些期待時，這些未滿足的童年期待，在無意識的成年生活中被表達出來時，常常是我們婚姻、家庭，甚至工作關係上困難重重的來源。指責、抱怨、失望、絕望等只是這些無意識狀態的表徵，底層我們期待著那些不知情參與我們「走神狀態」的人們能夠給我們不同的結果。

更有意思的是，我們會將這些狀況演譯在我們的伴侶、同事，或小孩身上，想像他們是我們的父母，或是孩提時代的重要人物。可以想像這種現象對我們親近的人將會是多麼困難的挑戰。

然而和這樣「走神狀態」同時存在的是我們生理上的知覺與症狀。我們的本能反應是同時發生在我們的心理和身體。思考、講理和邏輯並不能完全地幫助我們從過去的束縛中覺醒。在這些無意識的走神狀態中，我們的身體確實蘊藏了許多值得探索的有用資訊。

四月份2021的中英双語課程邀請到海文的核心導師葛萊姆老師Graemme Brown和李文淑老師一起，以身心整合的方式在建構家庭關係上提供一個新的可能性。課堂中開啟探索早期家庭經驗對我們現在生活的影響，以及如何應對。我們的目標並不是改變過去，而且過去也不可能改變，而是我們能改變我們與過去的關係，這是非常可行的，讓我們開始更全然豐盛的活在當下。

課程中包括了在這個主題上幾位專家的理念，包括：薩提爾、彼得烈文、海文的黃煥祥和麥基卓、尤金堅林，和約翰凱伯辛，）並提供有效的工具可應用在生活中及課後練習。

課程主題
1. 家庭規則的影響

  • 家庭規則的兩種形式
  • 轉化規則為原則
  • 與我們內在制定規則的人建立友好的關係

2. 薩提爾的冰山模式

  • 我們內在世界與外在行為的地圖
  • 與自我和他人深度溝通的工具

3. 情緒整理

  • 安在
  • 從反應到回應

4. 專注

  • 感知的重要性
  • 日常的工具
  • 恢復能力的開發

5. 有意識的期待

  • 覺察我想要的是什麼
  • 為我想要的負起責任：打開自由之門

Most of us have been in situations where we have reacted strongly, ‘blindly’, to something that a loved-one has done or said. Often, we later regret our behavior, or we reinforce our opinion that it was the other person that did the wrong thing (and if only *they* just did the right thing, all would be harmonious!)

Or perhaps I keep seeing the best in someone who is clearly indifferent, demeaning or even openly hostile to me? And I don’t understand why they can’t just treat me kindly.

Those strong reactions seem to come from nowhere and they happen so fast and with such intensity that I seem unable to control them. It’s like being hi-jacked by my emotions: My rational, sensible mind seems to be unavailable at those times.

It is almost as if we are in a trance or a dream when this is happening.

Well, we are…

This ‘trance-state’ is related to our deeply held desire for love, support, nurturing, kindness, compassion, and connection. While they are certainly expressed differently across cultures, these are universal human ‘needs’ that transcend culture. We humans experience these needs in our bodies as well: the need for a ‘felt sense’ of connection and attachment to others is vitally important for people of any age.

To the extent that we did or did not experience these needs being met in childhood, we will seek them out as adults. On the surface, there is nothing unusual about this: We are deeply shaped by our earliest life experiences. The real issue is when we *unconsciously* seek others to meet these expectations. Unmet childhood expectations, unconsciously expressed in our adult life are often the source of much difficulty in marriages, families and even work relationships. Blame, resentment, deep disappointment, and despair are just some of the symptoms of us unconsciously expecting different outcomes with the people who are unwitting participants in our ‘trance.’

To make it even more ‘interesting’, we will act towards our partners, colleagues, and children as if they are our parents or other important figures from our childhood. As you can imagine, this is difficult and often bewildering for those who we are close to.

Along with these ‘trance-states’ come physiological sensations and symptoms. Our reactions are happening both in our minds and bodies. Thinking, reasoning, and rationalizing alone will not completely help us wake up from the impact of our past. Indeed, our bodies hold useful information about what is happening in these unconscious trances.

For the April Bilingual Online Program – our Haven Core Facilitators Graemme Brown and Wen-Shwu Lee apply a mind-body approach to provide a new perspective on our family relationships. In this workshop, we begin the exploration of how our early family experiences impact us in our present, daily life and what we can do about this. Our aim is to not change the past (impossible) but to change our relationship with the past (very possible!) and begin to live more fully in the present.

We use the work of wise elders (including Virginia Satir, Peter Levine, Bennet Wong and Jock McKeen, Eugene Gendlin and Jon Kabat-Zinn) to create tools that you can use in your daily life, beyond the workshop itself.

Topics:
1. The Impact of Family Rules

  • The two types of family rules
  • Transforming rules into guidelines
  • Befriending our inner rule-maker

2. Virginia Satir’s Iceberg Model

  • A map of our internal world and external behavior
  • A tool for deeper communication with self & others

3. Emotional Regulation

  • Grounding
  • Moving from reaction to response

4. Focusing

  • The importance of the ‘felt sense’
  • Tools for daily life
  • Developing resilience

5. Conscious Expectations

  • Becoming aware of what I want
  • Taking responsibility for my expectations: the doorway to freedom

主導老師 Leaders

葛萊姆·布朗 Graemme Brown
心理諮商文憑，身體經驗創傷治療師，自1985年以來一直與The Haven合作。他致力於「慈悲與溫和詢問」的鑽研，多年來專注於維吉尼亞·薩提爾模式、榮格的影子工作和彼得萊文的肢體經驗系統的研究。葛萊姆視他的Haven教職同仁為創意靈感的泉源，他們的風格和專業知識多種多樣。作為The Haven核心導師的成員，葛萊姆在中國和加拿大共同領導了Come Alive、Living Alive Phase I、Journey to Self、Family Reconstruction 和許多其他的成長課程。葛萊姆還是一位屢獲殊榮的錄音工程師，經營他的Zen Mastering工作室超過25年。他對音樂的熱愛和創作過程的奧秘在很大程度上體現了他在個人成長工作上所採取的模式。他目前在加拿大卑詩省的加布里奧拉島生活和工作。

Graemme Brown, Dip.C, SEP, has been associated with The Haven since 1985. He is dedicated to compassionate and gentle inquiry, focused on his experience with the philosophy of Virginia Satir, Jungian shadow work and Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing system. Graemme considers his Haven faculty colleagues as another source of creative inspiration with their great diversity of styles and expertise. As a member of The Haven’s core faculty, Graemme co-leads Come Alive, Living Alive Phase I, Journey to Self, Family Reconstruction, and a number of other programs on Gabriola, in China and with First-Nation communities in Northern Canada. Graemme is also an award-winning recording engineer, running his Zen Mastering studio for over twenty-five years. His love of music and the mysteries of the creative process inform much of his approach to personal development training. He lives and works on Gabriola Island.


李文淑 Wen-Shwu Lee
心理諮商文憑、企業教練碩士認證、企管碩士、藝術學士、文學士、身心整合夫妻療癒認證、身體經驗創傷療法認證
CEC, Dip-C, MBA, BFA, BA, PACT Level II Certification, SE Intermediate II/III Certification
加拿大The Haven學院核心導師
加拿大The Haven學院前董事
加拿大The Haven學院前中國實習生總監

文淑是一位熱情，專業，平易近人的導師。她擁有跨越東西文化的豐富人生閱歷，她的教學以人性為出發點，在她熱情關懷以及洞察人心的教學風格中，文淑有效地整合了她的專業背景與生活經驗，並巧妙地將心理咨商，教練領導，創意啓發，身體經驗，夫妻成長，等不同的學說和技巧融會應用於身心整合的全人發展工作中。多年來她在大中國地區，北美，以及全球的線上平台上教授個人及專業成長課程，引導學員從桎梏的模式，轉化壓力挑戰為有效資源，蛻變為每人的獨特魅力與健康人際關係。在加拿大著名的潛能開發機構海文學院，文淑是唯一的一位華人被認可進入海文的核心導師, 在台灣她也是樂泉咨詢顧問公司的創辦人。

Wenshwu is passionate as an educator and a life coach. She is both personal and professional. She embraces life fully and keeps enriching herself in cross-cultural environment. Her leadership style is based on humanity, on which she effectively integrates her professional trainings with personal experiences. She applies various schools of learning: coaching, counseling, creativity, SE (Somatic Experiencing), and PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy) in the series of heart-brain integrated personal and professional development programs. She designs and leads onsite workshops and online programs in greater China area, north America, and around the globe. In these programs Wenshwu witnesses so many people breaking through fixated patterns, transforming suppression to useful resources, and living fully in their unique beings. Wenshwu is so far the only Chinese approved to the Haven Core Faculty. She is also the founder of The Train Coaching & Counseling Corp. in Taiwan.